Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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