Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize