he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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