You really coming over, don't trick.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
