also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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