im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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