Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
