Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
