So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize