We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
