these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
