its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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