I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
