At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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