i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
