I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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