It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
