garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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