sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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