I like to think it a success when the cops are called
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize