you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
