I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
