hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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