when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
