his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
