no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
