I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
