I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
