Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
