ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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