White coat. Heels.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
