I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
