I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
