I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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