u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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