I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
