Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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