Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
