pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize