Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dear god my vagina.
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