so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.