found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I lost the right to judge tonight