i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
