i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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