If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize