I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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