the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he puts the penis in happiness.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
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my being single is dangerous.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
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I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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