I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
