your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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