what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
