There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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