theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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