Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
