Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
