My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
