were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
