I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
