So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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