Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
