I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
