he puts the penis in happiness.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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