when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
