I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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