i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I want a musical about memes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
