Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
